Category: opinion

Mystery of the Purse Stealer at Trinity Groves

Ashli Michelle January 12, 2014 0 Comments
It was really weird having my purse and cell phone stolen this past weekend. This means a crazy person knows my address and even has my social security card. It is really not all that smart to carry this particular card inside a wallet. It should be kept in a safe place. The same crazy person is probably reading this right now since evidence of my website is in my sadly stolen purse. I’d like...

Please Freak Out: Haute Living Magazine is Filled with Stolen Dallas Photographs

Ashli Michelle December 27, 2013 0 Comments
Now that the holidays have come and gone, it is time to find out exactly what is going on at Haute Living Magazine. I haven’t been able to do my culinary school homework since the day a Dallas writer messaged saying this shady stack of paper has been using my food pictures as their own for months and months and months and months and months. Who does this? Who is OK with this kind of pretend...

Ordering Coffee Using Regular Words

Ashli Michelle October 1, 2013 0 Comments
It was really weird ordering four shots of espresso in a large cup with ice and 2% milk today. I usually follow word rules in an attempt to recite my order in a cashier pleasing way. Today I really didn’t feel like lingo. One might consider this day the end of the lingo line. I just wanted to speak regular words without any kind of coffee ordering word pressure. Is this really too much to ask?...

Please Stop Licking My Grocery Store Change

Ashli Michelle September 25, 2013 0 Comments
People need to stop licking my grocery store change. Bag licker problems have now moved on to— money lickers. I’ve overly complained to a point every person in America should be aware of this catastrophic saliva sharing epidemic. Some readers have told me to get green by bringing my own bag to the grocery store. This defeats the purpose of helping the rest of the world not have to deal with...

Gift Card Expiration Date Pressure

Ashli Michelle June 1, 2013 0 Comments
Gift-card-expiration-date-pressure is one of the worst kinds of pressure known to mankind. Realizing you have something exciting that can be taken away on a certain date is an injustice at the highest level of all forms of injustice. It's like an execution date. You know the date will eventually arrive and there is nothing you can do about it. My cheater ex-boyfriend with a double life told me a...