Strawberries represent the rating levels for restaurants in Houston & Dallas. Almost Veggies desperately needed levels in between Wouch & High 5, so here they are…

Five: High 5!
An establishment maintaining levels of excellence to the most exciting degree known to mankind will own this superstar status rating. Consumers experiencing this moment of dining glory may burst into tears with overwhelming foodie happiness. Pause…

Four: Please & Thank You
Yes, a happy foodie is in the room. The excitement is present, yet not totally overwhelming. There will be no whining at this table. The main goal has been achieved resulting in extreme dining happiness.

Three: Yada
Come on people! Enough already! It isn’t so horrible one would consider leaving, but may result in a nap, or later deciding to make a run for it. Something is missing, resulting in this rendezvous being sadly incomplete.

Two: Double Wow
Really? I’m sorry, is this working out for you? Um, curious as to how things are going on your end. It may be working out for you, but it is NOT working out for the customer. Figure it out people. Though still not throwing in the towel, this foodie is simply hanging on to a glimmer of hope that we will not reach… Wouchville.

One: Wouch!
You know, this is painful. It actually hurts. Therapists are now on speed dial for foodies everywhere. Ten zillion restaurants in town and you had to be in charge of this one. Lunch only rolls around Saturday & Sunday for some humans. The tumbleweed is about to roll your way, buddy! Retire. Move on. Hang up your apron & lock the door! Consumers beg for freedom while having only enough energy to wave the flag in defeat.

Fluff: Writer fluff occurs during a scheduled tasting or chef interview. PR people might have a part in fluff scheduling. Another kind of fluff may be totally unexpected. This would be whim fluff. Any kind of fluff on a whim is almost better than PR scheduled fluff. A world where fluff is involved means everything is free. Service is probably going to be great while experiencing fluff. Everyone is a part of the fluff process. There are no secrets during fluff.

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