After freaking out about a reservation on opening day, Open Table suddenly had none other than an opening. We arrived at 4:45pm, which immediately put a pip in our step. Uchi employees brought food outside for all of the hungry people to eat while waiting. Please do not think Uchi’s door opened even one second before five o’clock because the Uchi door did not.
The first two people to enter this building of complete restaurant glory were each handed a glass of champagne. Instead of wishing we had free champagne, we decided to feel happy for them instead. We sat at the sushi bar because the sushi bar is the best place to sit. Uchi’s sushi bar lighting makes my heart beat a little faster than it ever should. Not only were we sitting at the sushi bar, we were at the end, which sealed the stalking deal. My husband was embarrassed when I secretly took a secret picture of Tyson Cole in the kitchen. Tyson Cole does not have time to be violated by sushi bar customers. I’m not saying there’s some kind of Tyson Cole creepiness going on from my end. The real reason for stalking this chef is that somewhere in the deepest part of my inner body kept telling me it was the right thing to do. True story.
The guy making all of our sushi dreams come true is pictured in front of Tyson Cole. We basically asked him to send us whatever— and he did. We kept eating and eating and eating. Tyson Cole stopped by a few times to remind us we were important. Not really, but he did stop by. Besides describing the food being delivered, he did say that the Dallas location of Uchi has many of the favorites from his restaurants in Austin and Houston. He brought them all together on the Dallas menu, along with other dishes– of course. While he was talking I could barely hear him because I was trying too hard to remember every single word he said. It was like a slow motion quote moment right there in front of me, but I blew it. My friend and mentor for life, John DeMers, can quote anyone without even thinking twice. He’s the real deal writer, so maybe one day.
It was really weird looking at Open Table and actually seeing an available reservation for the very next day. After spastically grabbing it, all reservations were gone again until the 8th. It was like Open Table was trying to torture everyone living in Dallas. This second day reservation turned into terror when I realized I should probably cancel after having had dinner on opening day. After discussing this important problem with my hard-working husband, he agreed I should go to Uchi again. Raise the roof.
The next day I met two people from Zomato downtown at the Joule. This was very exciting because Zomato is what used to be Urbanspoon. They have sassed the website up in every way possible. Please feel excited that my blog is where it should be on Zomato’s best blog list— #1. Please & thank you. Where were we? Oh, I met my two brand new Zomato friends for coffee, even though I didn’t order coffee, and we talked. After our meeting ended, I had lunch at CBD Provisions.
Just when it seemed like a regular day, an Uchi worker was sitting across from me at the CBD Provisions bar. What are the odds, people? This Uchi waiter said all employees get 40% off and he would be at Uchi eating promptly at five that very same day. This employee being a part of my check would mean (fireworks erupt as angels sing gloriously from heaven above…) 40% off my food as well. Can. You. Imagine.
As I stood in Uchi’s waiting line waiting for five o’clock to arrive, a girl in front of me slowly turned around and said the unthinkable. “Have you ever been to Uchi before? I heard it is really not that good.” Stop the press. Just become statue-like to fully concentrate on the words spoken by the pretend customer that fateful day. Who says this? She had no idea she was speaking to Uchi’s #1 customer. If so, she would have trembled like the highest Richter scale measured earthquake in the history of earthquakes before speaking such rubbish.
I immediately felt a snob-vibe within my private space. Snobbery was among us all that day outside Uchi and standing up for Uchi was the only option. “Um, who would ever say Uchi is bad? Who?” Tumbleweed began to roll past the valet stand as I waited for the Dallas $30,000 millionaire pretend socialite’s response. “I just heard it wasn’t all that great.” Uchi food should never enter the mouth of a person in doubt. This is how I feel, so it must be true.
After eating massive amounts of 100% crazy great food, it was time to leave Uchi, as well as Tyson Cole. If you haven’t been to any of the Uchi locations, jump in your car fast. Life will instantly be worth living again.
Please peruse Uchi’s menu—> here. There’s no way descriptions of the massive amount of food can be given. Trying to detail every item perfectly is beginning to hurt my feelings, so immediately stopping the terrible task of labeling each and every food picture has become reality.
Not Food Pictures…
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FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
THREE: Yada
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch
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Uchi
2817 Maple Ave
Dallas, TX 75201
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