Chef Tyson Cole held an event for media to sneak a peek into all that is… Uchi. This email invite, seeming almost lottery lucky, is titled “Media Mixer.” Translation of these two words clearly states an inevitable mixing of those possessing a status of… media. Please & Thanks.
Supernatural feelings flowed as iPhone’s everywhere stated the time to be exactly 5:32 p.m. Walking in alone was the only option, so don’t jump to conclusions that plus one is done. False. This is it. On your own. Move on with your single event attending life while mixing with media.
Let us not waste a single second before acknowledging the… servers. Sweat beads began to form as all females became lost in a massive slow motion moment. Almost 9 boy toy’s kitchen exit was comparable to hitting the runway in Milan after a mini photo shoot during fashion week in New York City. As 6 packs began ripping through all service industry shirts, media mavens stood still within an uncontrollable trance.
I’m sorry unattractive servers in Texas. Uchi has no time for such nonsense. While hot to a point of almost violating their service industry space, service was outstanding without being intrusive. Locks of hair furiously blew even without access to a wind machine. Hearts pound as they enter the media area carrying trays of total dish delish. Food plays second fiddle to flawless skin, thus producing thoughts of drooling apron violations. Pause.
Who does the hiring? Who? Servers without hotness beware, for this particular application maintains that if you aren’t Hercules or mini Tarzan’s with flowing locks of glory, um, no job for you. Beat it. Get lost. Scram. Get a mirror & a life. Go to the gym. Check back in a few months when you achieve proper worthiness, while those of us dining shall surrender to the mercy of their manliness.
Moving right along…
Uchiviche…
salmon, striped bass, bell pepper, tomato, garlic, cilantro
Crunchy Spicy Tuna Roll…
bigeye, avocado, jalapeno, cucumber
Hamachili…
orange, yellowtail, golden tobiko, ponzu
Yokai Berry…
Atlantic salmon, dinosaur kale, Asian pear, yuzu
Shag…
tempura roll, salmon, sun-dried tomato, avocado
Machi Cure…
smoked baby yellowtail, yucca crisp, Asian pear, marcona almond, garlic brittle
Jar Jar Duck…
countryside farms duck, candied kumquat, endive, rosemary smoke
Fried Milk…
chocolate milk, toasted milk, iced milk sherbet
Peanut Butter…
apple miso sorbet
Uchi is the real deal, deserving a place at the top of all to-do’s! Doors open Thursday, February 2nd, so move it or lose it.
