This love I have for Uchi is not only painful, but mostly pitiful. It’s really not necessary to feel this way. Today is the opening. I do not have a reservation, but I do have a solid plan for being able to eat at Uchi without a reservation. I’ve been thinking of a few different ideas to conquer this booked restaurant of massive total sushi perfection.
The first plan is to sit at the bar. If a person successfully walks through the door and has a seat at the bar, then they appear to be waiting for their table or another person to eat with. Ordering a drink is like making it to the finish line for the sad person without an opening day reservation.
Plans So Far:
1) get past the host/hostess
2) completely sit in a seat at the bar
3) order a drink
This may all seem simple to the average person who is not experiencing restaurant opening day pain, but to a person who is desperate, well, it’s an entirely different deal. Uchi management probably already thought about this. They have most likely had a meeting with staff members letting them know all kinds of crazy will be trying to swindle their way into dinner tonight. There’s only one chance, and that’s the bar. The bar, people.
After suddenly seeing pictures of the actual bar on Eater this morning, I estimate around 8 – 10 seats exist at the very important bar. This means there’s an above average chance of total bar-seat rejection. People with reservations are going to want to sit until they are seated at a real table, BUT if I arrive at exactly 4:38pm today, then reservation people will be seated promptly at 5:00pm, which means they don’t NEED to wait at the bar. I can easily scoot past these people in a flash. A flash!
What should a person wear who is trying to sneak into Uchi without a reservation on opening night? Well, you wouldn’t want to wear a hooker-looking outfit with matching hooker heels and a load of hoochie make-up. Don’t do it! Go the “I’m an elementary school teacher.” route. It’s the right thing to do. Uchi people aren’t going to notice those kinds of clothes. My closet is filled with teacher clothes. This is taken care of. Next.
IMPORTANT: Do not speak to anyone on the way inside. If possible, wear sunglasses, look down, frown, and bend over like your back hurts a lot. No one will bother a person who is simply trying to get to the bar for a seat while in pain due to a horrific backache. This will still be tricky because a host/hostess is always trying to greet or say goodbye to the customer. Ugh. These employees could be the deal-breaker.
My normal husband suggested we swing by open table on the phone and make a reservation for the next available reservation on June 2nd. Really? Oh, sure. I’ll get right on that. Who is waiting until June 2nd to eat at Uchi? No one over here, that’s for sure. All of this is really stressful for a person sitting at home with nothing else to do but worry about eating at Uchi— today.
We haven’t even gotten to the eating without a reservation part. We have only planned entry, bar seating, and drink ordering. Eating is an entirely different area. We go with simply asking the bartender if eating at the bar is frowned upon or if all else fails, ask to place a to-go order and then take a picture of it at the bar while people stare.
I hope everyone is having a great day, especially the organized people who made a reservation at Uchi before it was too late.
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