Jake’s was the meeting spot for the beginning of the Crawl for Cancer in Dallas. This day, filled with beer & food, is for a cause worthwhile. After putting on our t-shirt, mustache & tie themed attire, we ordered our pick of the menu. It seems to be hit or miss with veggie burgers around town, but this was no ordinary veggie burger. This veggie burger instantly demanded respect.
In the midst of all Crawl for Cancer event excitement, asking specifics about this particular veggie burger were forgotten. It seemed solving was only a simple phone call slash mini chat with a manager away. Giving just a little more than the menu description is not, I repeat, not — difficult.
As the hostess answers the phone, she immediately needs to know exactly why it is necessary to speak to, of all people, the manager. Maybe it’s private. Maybe I don’t want to tell you. Maybe I am the manager’s mistress, wishing to whisper sweet nothings into his phone ear during today’s lunch shift.
Manager Veggie Burger Ingredient Phone Call Reenactment:
AVH: Hi. I hate to be a bother, but I’m writing about how wonderful your veggie burger is and, um, was just wondering if you could tell me a little more about the veggie burger.
Manager: I apologize, but I can’t do that.
AVH: Huh? Come again?
Manager: If you are writing about our veggie burger, then I can’t comment on the veggie burger.
AVH: So, let’s see, if a customer, sitting at a table, asked a question about this particular veggie burger, you still could not answer the question?
Manager: No. You will have to speak to corporate. We actually don’t know anything about the veggie burger anyway.
Holy freaking moly. Sure, managers are told there are certain things that must go through corporate, but it’s not like a request for some kind of ancient Chinese secret — It’s a detailed dish description.
Just when it seemed like AVH would never uncover the mystery of Jake’s veggie burger, a manager at another location confirmed this burger to be that of… Morningstar. Gasp!
Could it be? The world’s best veggie burger is from the mostly grocery store brand we call… Morningstar? This is fabulous. If this burger truly is Morningstar, Jake’s is somehow miraculously fluffing it up in the kitchen. They are one-upping Morningstar’s spicy black bean burger — for sure. The only other information given: “The veggie burger is probably held together with bread crumbs.” Yikes.
Cheese tots were just the beginning of an added extra explosion of side item happiness. What happened next felt like some kind of confusing condiment dessert mixture that simply shouldn’t be possible.
A team member could be seen slowly dipping her sweet potato fry into marshmallow sauce. What!?! The taste is like no other. Who thought a fry could feel like a gift of dessert joy, overflowing throughout every taste bud to reach perfection. Apparently late to the sweet potato party, this fry rage is alright.
If the basic grilled chicken sandwich is a snoozer, Jake’s offers a flaming rooster sandwich with grilled chicken, hot mustard, Monterey jack cheese & fresh pico de gallo. Don’t forget, it’s your life, so you can ask to sub grilled toast for a poppy seed bun. Other sandwiches include BLT, ham & cheese, as well as the always exciting grilled cheese.
At last, the cheeseburger at its best, with single or double carcass — at your request. Jake’s is a perfect place to hang out with friends after work or on the weekend. Morningstar or invented in the kitchen, Jake’s veggie burger is a winner.
Don’t forget to check out Jake’s happy hour during the week from 4 – 7.
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch
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