Bar Louie

Bar Louie recently opened with a plan. For one week, customers received their first martini & small plate absolutely free. The general manager explained their preference in not taking the PR route. Successfully relying on word of mouth is the deal they feel will appeal to potential regulars.

Everything about the outside is comfy cozy, whether lounging on couches or sitting in a fluffy chair surrounded by trees. Aww.

We had drinks & apps during happy hour on three different occasions. Service was spot on, even during the busiest hour of happy. As a shift meeting began, it appeared the line of service industry workers was endless. Customers seemed to be doing lots of with, rather than without.

This bartender means business, with a drink slinging face filled with serious. Like. Bar Louie claims to have fame. How? Hand crafted signature martinis. Not only do they guarantee “cutting edge cocktails” — expect only the freshest ingredients in existence.

Words Causing Pain: truffle butter popcorn. This popcorn app, with parsley & parmesan, is luckily NOT loaded with truffle to the point of frightening people.

Spinach and artichoke dip with parmesan, garlic and house-made Alfredo is served with tortilla chips. We also tasted shrimp quesadillas with pepper jack, cheddar, sour cream, pico and guacamole. If hummus doesn’t hurt, Bar Louie offers hummus, tabbouleh & tzatziki with warm pita bread and cucumber slices.

Adobe shrimp skewers with avocado-mango salsa, field greens, honey chipotle and adobo sauce just happened to be the free app the bartender suggested. The menu has a burger for non carcass eaters, so prepare to sink your incisors into a grilled portabella burger with queso fresco, fresh spinach, tomato, onion, roasted red pepper and pesto mayo. Yes, please.

Eww. Not a fan of the grilled chicken nachos with queso, black beans, jalapeno, pico, guacamole, sour cream and tortilla chips. Nachos don’t get much drier than this. Dry. Dry. Dry.

Strangest menu mishap in the history of menu mishaps happened at Bar Louie. The menu lists a salad exactly like this:

Blackberry, Orange Brie:

mixed greens, brie, oranges, blackberries, pecans, bacon, basil, vinaigrette

After reading the description, a simple no bacon request  seemed as though it would secure all carcass inquiries. Not so much. While digging into this salad, feelings of pork plastered all parts of my tongue. Taste buds screeched as my fork forcibly fell to the plate. As the bartender approached, our eyes suddenly met with ultimate pig pain being apparent.

Question: Bacon bits or carcass particles are nowhere in sight, so why is this happening to my tongue?

She quickly informed me that the very dressing making its way from mouth to stomach is an orange basil bacon vinaigrette. Really? Come again? Apparently we have major comma drama on this menu. This may seem like no big deal, but it’s a pretty big deal to people that would choose death rather than swallow bacon.

At this point, pig is in my belly. There isn’t a manager that’s going to fix this one, only a stomach pump at Memorial Hermann.

The manager’s dismay portray was deeply serious. She said Bar Louie has over blah blah yada stores and every menu is listed the exact same way. She finds it amazing this type of pork problem hasn’t happened before. She pledged to conference-call-memo-email-speed-dial  every GM across the country to ensure an immediate menu fix. By the by, this kind of carcass chaos easily turns happy hour into barf in the bathroom hour.

Bar Louie is worth a visit. Really. The drinks & atmosphere are happening, adding a much needed addition to the happy hour scene in The Woodlands.

FIVE: High 5!

FOUR: Please & Thank You


TWO: Double Wow

ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch

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5 thoughts on “Bar Louie

  1. Dan – Your comment means you are clueless as to my style of writing. You see, my style is that I don’t care what you think about my run on sentences or verbs and subjects or dot dot dots or even yada comma yada. Dan- I don’t care. I’m not writing to win the approval of my 6th grade English teacher and I’m definitely not writing for you. My writing is for the people that understand and appreciate my sense of humor, so take your bacon and beat it.

  2. Loved the entry! However, I do have one question.. Did you ask if the salad was vegetarian friendly before ordering?

  3. No. Most of the time I ask if there is any meat on what I’m ordering, but I only recall asking if they could leave off the bacon that was listed on the menu. I like Bar Louie. The people are nice and the happy hour is fun. I just don’t like bacon. Dan probably LOVES bacon.

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