While remaining clueless to neighborhood names, having lunch at Union Bear the other day was exciting. This area, smothered with shopping bags & sassy outfits, made me realize that wherever I am, it’s working out. After walking down some stairs to the lower level dining room & bar, prepare to be approached by a real — live — craft beer bartender.
While trying not to squeak out a craft beer tear, this guy had a right to know he was dealing with the ultimate of all uneducated craft girls. Common sense seems to hint that craft beer is not… Miller Lite. This part is plain & very simple.
There are many passionate people willing to slap a person for even thinking of drinking a Bud Light. This is a totally true beer story. Want to make friends? Stop ordering Michelob Ultra. Don’t even think about ordering a Coors Light or someone wearing a t-shirt for cool people might appear with a craft beer cringe.
Startling information revealed The American Brewers Association’s definition of a place brewing craft beer as… “small, independent and traditional.” I’m sorry un-crafty people. Budweiser Brewing Company does not fall into this category. Get it together or get lost.
Immediately following this Californian service industry worker’s time of craft beer enlightenment, he decided to slide a Saint Arnold Fancy Lawnmower my way. Described as crisp & refreshing, it’s also from… Houston. Sniffle!
How exciting to accidentally receive something the bartender said I wouldn’t. Score. Dipping bread is not a part of the soup & salad combo. Reason: It is less expensive to add Texas tomato soup to a salad than when ordering it alone. This results in a something’s gotta give, and that give is… Rosemary dipping bread.
It was as though this craft beer bartender & I had been slinging drinks since 1996. Our seemingly tight bond was questioned the very second he delivered this dish of carcass-non-delish. The Ms. Julie’s salad is a mix of Spicer greens, grana padano, roasted vegetables, lemon zest, vermouth tincture, sherry vinaigrette, and panchetta. I asked for… no panchetta.
Speechless. Bewildered. Not only gross, it reaches a new level of ultimate gross, as ridges rest on an innocent plate of Spicer greens. Halt. Screech. Raise the food eating flag in defeat, for fighting the battle to keep pork out of my belly is officially exhausting.
As pork belly soared, reality hit, causing this bartender’s head to quickly hit the bar. After all we’d been through? Even after hearing the Bar Louie comma drama story? Did he really deliver a salad bearing… Italian bacon?
A chicken fried boiled egg on top of an Italian bacon engulfed salad could definitely be considered a brand spanking new adventure. This particular egg is usually reserved for the Caesar salad with romaine & pecorino croutons.
A new salad came & went with the wind. After that, things went up- up- up. The Gulf shrimp flatbread with Texas goat cheese, tomato, and thyme is so unbelievably fantastic. With a simple slip into the creamed tomato rosemary dipping sauce, this flatbread quickly crossed over to heavenly. One of the best flatbreads in the city! Oh, it’s actually the first one I’ve had in Dallas, but it is amazing.
How excited should people be about Union Bear? Very. Excited. Having zero craft beer skill is no reason for fear. Clean up the carcass and this place is an ace! Heart.
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
THREE: Yada
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch
