Twisted Root Burger

After deciding what to order, we made our way to the counter. This is the first moment things began to feel above average dirty. It was around 7:00pm and the containers on the counter looked like a tornado blew through in a funky kind of way. My husband tipped $11 at the counter. Counter tipping is annoying because tipping before service is received feels like being violated. Tipping when the...

Pen Clickers

Pen clickers are kind of like bag lickers because even though these people are violating innocent victims, the innocent victims feel they can't say anything about it. Pen clicking while someone else is trying to focus is the most annoying act in existence. I would rather a stranger lick their fingers and slap my face before handing me a bag-licked bag of groceries. The other day I was trying to...

First Week Staging with Chef John Tesar

It's necessary to cut to the chef shoe chase. I'm almost positive chef John Tesar wears Prada chef shoes. This is how I feel after spending three nights staging at Spoon Bar & Kitchen this week. I thought about taking a muscle relaxer the first day, but responsibly realized taking pills on the job might be frowned upon. Instead, I ran four miles earlier that day in order to relax before...

Studio Movie Grill

Serving food and drinks at a movie theater is nothing more than a minimal bonus that should not excite anyone. Do not get your hopes in a tizzy thinking this movie theater's food will ever exceed a concession stand status. The odds simply do not exist. There's this red button movie people are supposed to push on their movie seat tray whenever they are ready to order. Our button turned red and...

My Externship at Spoon with Chef John Tesar

I enrolled in culinary school to acquire the necessary skills to become a credible food critic. Much more knowledge is obviously necessary to advance from an opinionated true-story-telling food writer to a real deal food critic. While this may be laughable to at least 48 comment trolls in Texas, it's a goal that will eventually be achieved. Le Cordon Bleu students must successfully complete an...