Battuto Italian Kitchen dropped the food-ordering ball when we recently stopped in for dinner. Being first-timers, our table was at a loss for words while listening to our server tip-toe through her sentences of mass destruction. “No. No. No. We don’t have that either. No. I’m Sorry.” She was really sweet, so at least she made each answer sound pleasant even though the ordering experience was dreadfully painful.
We couldn’t have Tito’s. No. Just no. Another person ordered a sassy drink with bacon, only to be told they were out of none other than bacon. This bacon incident proved confusing after deciding to share the macaroni & bacon pizza as an appetizer. After giving us the go, we had to ask about the mystery of the missing drink-bacon. She said they weren’t out of bacon for the macaroni & bacon pizza. I sat silently dismayed because it was the right thing to do.
We decided to have calamari because calamari. Our server looked like she wanted to run for the nearest door as everyone’s frown wrinkles began to wrinkle. “What do you have?” The open kitchen is a beautiful thing when a customer is interested in snooping a kitchen-server conversation. His face made faces of no at the same time his head shook shakes of no. It was like a no explosion all over the place that fateful night at Battuto.
The second appetizer attempt came with the same ending. No. We moved on to salads and entrees. My time had arrived to order with total risotto excitement. “I’ll have the seared scallops with lemon risotto.” What she said is up there with the biggest of all double wows. “We are out of scallops.” Check, please. Just. Check. Please.
The best solution was to sub shrimp for the 86’d scallops. This had to work. She checked with the same kitchen guy before quickly returning with good news. I actually can’t remember ever going to a restaurant and being told they were out of such a large number of menu items. The overworked 86 board must have been struggling to keep up that night. With so many banners out front proclaiming restaurant excellence, how could this kitchen-fail occur?
UPDATE: BATTUTO ITALIAN KITCHEN IS CLOSED. I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS OUR EXPERIENCE. PREPARING TO CLOSE MEANS STOP ORDERING FOOD. GO FIGURE.
Wow + Ouch = Wouch
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
THREE: Yada
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch