Lazy Culinary Students
Look, no one around here is trying to be a culinary student classmate hater. All I’m saying is a line needs to be drawn— and fast. The good news is this: The only people in my class that know I’m a food writer are the three people that are not lazy. All of the other people have no idea my fingers can type all kinds of memories that were formed due to their Guinness Book of World Records— laziness.

We finished the written and cooking exams this week. I successfully completed Foundations II with an A. You guys have no idea how much torture came with this A. I’ll start from the beginning. Just when it seemed like a regular class, all of the sudden, an explosion of lazy people were everywhere. I’m sorry. I am not enrolled in culinary school to take care of lazy people. I’m just wondering why a lazy student stopped by the library last week to take pictures of recipes I worked on for at least three hours. Do I look like your secretary? This is when my frown wrinkle officially began to wrinkle.

I am a notetaker. If there was some kind of competition for notetaking, it would be over for every other notetaker across the country. I have a fast pen. This fast pen releases ink faster than a flash or a speeding bullet. It is really that fast. Ink glides like skates all over the place. Ink is on my left hand, the table, my chef coat— everywhere. When I get home, I relax with some Doritos and slowly transfer these notes to the back of a recipe card. Simple. This takes effort, which means lazy people are not achieving this or anything else on their own.

Believe it or not, there was a bully in our class during Foundations II. We don’t have a principal, so I decided to keep this information to myself. She must have known not to bully me because of how scary my face looks sometimes. This bully did not know that I was a school teacher for nine years and would always be five thousand steps ahead of her sad bully body.

She could easily be described as a loser, but I have decided to go into a more detailed description. She is loud. This kind of loud comes with several louder sounds in between the already loud parts of each sentence. Then there is the comment here and there that’s supposed to sting the people she is bullying. Does she not realize people living life as non-losers really do not bother listening to loud, lazy, attention seeking, non-winner bullies? True story.

After attempting to ignore her for all of eternity, or at least until Foundations II ended, it happened. She walked over and said, “Hey Ashli!!! Girl, you take the BEST notes ever. I’m gonna have to steal your notes!! How do you take such AWESOME notes!!?” Really? How about because I don’t sleep in class. That is a fantastic start. Staying awake in class has been proven to be a sure thing when attempting to take notes. Oh, how about pick up a pencil and do the unthinkable— write! Actually, being present when the teacher speaks is definitely another plan that just might work. After finally figuring out a way to appear unapproachable, people stopped asking me questions. Answers to all questions can easily be known on your own— by not being lazy.


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