Snuffer’s

Gratuity was added to our check the first time our party of TWO went to Snuffer’s for a burger. Talking about that day is too rough. The second visit was not on purpose. There is no way I would purposely go back to Snuffer’s. And by the way, sure, everyone just loves Snuffer’s so much it hurts. While that’s great and all, this place makes the service at Chuy’s seem dreamy.

Back to the part about not eating at Snuffer’s on purpose. This was a lunch scheduled by other people that I was forced to follow. My method of survival was to zip it. Do not speak. Not one single word would come from my face during lunch. Any conversation of previous shotty service with two-top gratting would be null & void.

Before entering the building I received the “Everyone loves Snuffer’s, so it must be you” lecture. No– It’s impossible that anyone loves a place so much they would endure service sucking from levels beneath the earth’s surface. I guess this is why a server would add gratuity to a two-top. It’s the only way to secure a decent tip after slinging shady service all over the place.

For a while we didn’t really know who our server was. We begged random people for things throughout our meal. Everyone at the table sat pretending things were on the up and up. How could they not make some kind of unpleasant customer face? It was confusing to watch all the happy people at our table. Around this time one of the guys said, “I think they have a tip pool where everyone waits on different tables and the tips are split at the end.” Really? I don’t think so. Nobody in their right mind would wait tables if our mystery server is a part of any tip sharing responsibility.

Sitting at the table was like witnessing the eye of a hurricane make landfall. We finally figured out the identity of our assigned server. Not one plate was bussed from one table around us. She was a MESS. I’m not talking about a hot mess. This particular mess is that of a regular mess. A hot mess is somewhat positive. Saying someone is a hot mess is kind of giving a compliment. Our server is a full blown basic— mess.

Things To Consider Before Stating Service Sucks:
Is our server in a hurry? No.
Is the restaurant slammed? No.
Is there at least one employee that looks like they don’t suck? Yes.
Is this our server’s first day? I hope so.

Being given an app plate with human head hair on it seemed minimal in affecting this experience. It was actually kind of funny because I wasn’t allowed to express negative feelings after the “Everyone loves Snuffer’s, so it must be you” lecture. The hair resting all comfy on my app plate was off chit-chat limits. I decided to just stare at the hair and silently talk to myself about it.

cheese fries

Since everyone at the table was so excited about the cheese fries, I decided to try and feel happy for them. Someone even said, “These cheese fries are the best and did you know Snuffer’s is known for having the best cheese fries in Dallas?” This is a 9 year old talking so— howdy doody, great, and peachy. Guess what? Without conducting a survey, I bet Snuffer’s is not known for having the best service. Nope.

veggie burger

It really didn’t matter what the rest of the Snuffer lovers at the table ordered because all I needed was a veggie burger. The best part about ordering a burger at Snuffer’s is you can pick any kind of burger they offer and replace the carcass with a veggie burger. This excited me more than it should have. Eating this burger was glorious. Snuffer’s has a fantastic veggie burger. Excellent!

Describing our environment is simple. Think of a landfill piled with garbage two miles high. This is what it felt like sitting at Snuffer’s. Our table. Their table. Their neighbor’s neighbor’s table. Each and every non-pre-bus victim eventually left. The scene screamed please pre-bus something. Not one entree or app plate had been removed. Witnessing this kind of table tragedy is sad.

Look people, everyone loves Snuffer’s. If you do not like Snuffer’s then it is your fault. Do not blame Snuffer’s. People at my table are regulars and they demand I understand these negative service feelings have to be my fault. Maybe there was some kind of service spell cast without our knowledge. It was still October at the time. I’m sorry. Fluke or spell– Snuffer’s service is too much of a scare.

FIVE: High 5!

FOUR: Please & Thank You

THREE: Yada

TWO: Double Wow

ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch

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Snuffer’s

3526 Greenville Avenue

Dallas, TX 75206

(214) 826-6850

snuffers.com‎

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Snuffer's on Urbanspoon

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