Darkness is wonderful at times and inside Campisi’s is really dark. I’d been asked to have dinner there almost three times since living in Dallas and had the nerve to say no way each and every time. Was there a reason? Validity of some sort? Absolutely not. I’m pretty sure the drive-by glance of the parking lot had everything to do with my nonsense answer of no, which was horribly unjust. I really had no reason for not wanting to go.
Ever since finding out I have cancer last week, some friends have been inviting my hard-working husband and I to have some kind of last dinner. Not like a dying last dinner, but a last dinner because no one around here goes out to dinner after their belly is cut open and a tumor is removed. Going out to dinner after surgery is not the right thing to do. Staying home with a bell is what needs to be done. I asked my husband today if he would buy me a bell to ring when I need things after surgery. He quickly told me there has to be an app on my iPhone for bells and things and also made it known that no one is going to respond to the ringing of a bell.
We need to get one thing out of the way. I know nothing about the reputation of Campisi’s. Not one single thing could possibly sway any kind of restaurant judgment. Now that we have accomplished this fact being shared, please know the service absolutely sucked at the highest level that sucking possibly could. You might be thinking to yourself that a person with cancer is in a bad mood. Please, relax for a moment and know I’m even more fair now that I am a victim of tumors invading my belly. I’m like Supreme Court fair.
Example Our Server Sucked:
Hi. I’m your server. Sorry it took forever to get over here but I’m just running around. Do you know what you want to drink, appetizers, and entrée? I’ll take your entire order now.”
Really? Because really? I’m just wondering if this pretend good server thinks I would ever share my entire order at the same time after having proof that my server sucks. Double wow. You took ten minutes to get over to simply say yada and now you want our table’s entire order? Not happening. This would mean our drinks are never coming because you are turning and burning us by ringing in our entire order before even thinking of drinks. We were luckily not at a Mexican restaurant with quick-chip delivery because we would have been choking.
The worst performance a server performs is attempting to receive an entire order when greeting a table. Owners should fire servers trying to turn and burn cancer victims. <— That was a joke. I really was kidding. I mean, since I have cancer I can joke about cancer. It’s like being Jewish and saying Jew.
My husband knew I knew our server sucked. He kept talking to our friends like nothing was wrong. Well, when there are so many plates on the table that I have my silver and app plate in my lap, um, the deal has been sealed for sucking.
When I am thirsty and the service sucks to the depths of hell, there is a trick I pull right out of my left sleeve. “Husband, excuse me. May I get out of the booth to use the restroom?” I then walk by the server who sucks and say—> Blah blah blah blah. This means could you not suck for 84 seconds and bring me a drink so I can finish my app without choking. That’s all.
I ordered the eggplant parmesan, which is winning an award for the smallest $13 eggplant parmesan a person could possibly order. Oh, there’s a salad that’s as sad as saying goodbye for the very last time that is included in this order. Seriously, I’m exhausted from talking about this place. All kinds of people love Campisi’s so much it hurts. Let us all feel happiness for them.
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch
Campisi’s Egyptian Restaurant
5610 E Mockingbird Ln
Dallas, TX 75206
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