My mother-in-law called this morning and said keeping a journal throughout this particular cancer experience is the right thing to do. It is only day 2 and I have so many emotions it’s crazy. Day 1 was a blur, so there’s no day 1 journal entry. I didn’t have the journal idea until today, so it looks like day 1 didn’t have a chance.
Most of the pain happens during the night and first thing in the morning. The tumor pain is sharp and as sad as the saddest sad ever. About ten minutes into the start of the day, things are suddenly fine. Today it happened again. When Joel left for work I didn’t cry immediately. Instead, I started cleaning. I must really be sick to start cleaning on purpose.
The highlight of today is finding these Fudge Stripe minis. Fudge Stripes are completely underrated. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Fudge Stripes. Regular size or mini, it’s a Fudge Stripe win all the way.
As I sat eating my Fudge Stripe minis, I received a phone call from Baylor with none other than my surgery date. The 14 centimeter tumor will be cut out of my stomach on June 11th. I cried as soon as that call ended, but only for about 14 seconds. One second for each centimeter of my tumor.
My PET scan is on Thursday. That call didn’t make me cry, so.
I’m having a hard time writing about food since finding out I have two different major cancers at the same time. Maybe only having one major cancer would still affect food writing. Maybe. It’s possible that I might suddenly love writing about food again tomorrow. My doctor says I must take every single thing one day at a time, so I decided to obey.