Vail Chophouse sounds expensive. This restaurant’s title has the power to frighten commoners without even trying. We decided to read the menu inside the glass case out front for the fun of it. This is when a service industry worker delivered two bowls of chowder with lobster on top to a patio table nearby. Invading other people’s privacy with a secret walk-by lobster picture did not matter. It was something that had to be done all because there’s no way anyone around here was going to order lobster chowder from a chophouse in Vail.
The lobster chowder had to cost at least $20 since a shady hotdog at a restaurant on top of the mountain cost our friend $10. After a full-blown investigation, we learned lobster chowder glory could be ours for only $9.99! This is nothing less than a menu miracle. It isn’t even annoying that the price is one penny less than the next dollar. This one-cent pricing trick is reserved for infomercials around 2am. Our excitement wouldn’t let us dwell on the one-cent pricing shadiness Vail Chophouse was attempting to achieve. It’s not a problem this time. We have forgiven you.
Being so excited about cheap lobster chowder at a chophouse in Vail is a valid emotion. Imagine reaching the next level of joy upon lifting up the puff pastry to find none other than — more lobster. What is going on? For $9.99 it seems like mystery lobster would be microscopically roaming around the chowder. There would be nothing to say to our server if this were the case. They could have gotten away with lobster on top and called it a day. Vail Chophouse is not selfish with lobster because lobster is all over the place inside the lobster chowder bowl, which means this is a total lobster chowder win.
It was time to ask our server what is up with this $9.99 lobster chowder. This is when he revealed the Vail Chophouse owners also own Blue Moose Pizza. Really? Oh, well this explains everything. These restauranteurs are rolling in dough— rolling. There would be no hung jury after 3:30pm rolled around. This is when the head server started yelling and ringing a bell for everyone to get ready for a free champagne toast. We thought he was obviously trying to scare commoners into leaving. Who gives away free champagne at 3:30pm every single day in Vail? Rich restaurant owners, that’s who.
Being an advocate for all non-socialites means raising the roof about lobster chowder costing one-cent less than $10 at a chophouse in Vail.
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FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
THREE: Yada
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch
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Vail Chophouse
675 West Lionshead Place
Vail, CO 81657
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