Chef Coat Starch

Each day Le Cordon Bleu students form a line in the hallway to have an official uniform inspection. This massively important uniform inspection is performed by none other than gigantic-hat-wearing chef instructors. They slowly walk by, intensely gazing into each student’s eyes for almost one second. Their chef instructor eyes then investigate each part of every student’s uniform in hopes of not finding wrinkles or missing items.

After starching my chef coat for forty-six minutes last night, I felt this inspection would not affect my life. I even had some kind of stiff back confidence. All of this ended the second I realized my chef coat had more starch on it than anyone in the building. I could barely bend my arms. This stiff back was not from confidence, it was from a heinous act of starch abuse. Please do not tell anyone, but I also starched my chef hat. This is a catastrophe to chef hats everywhere. Who starches their hat? I mean, after realizing that starching my chef hat was not a good idea, I was already at school. Repeatedly smooshing my starched chef hat didn’t work.

Has anyone in the history of culinary school ever been sent home for using too much starch on their uniform? The uniform inspector could have said, “Please leave the building. We do not have time for your horrifically over-starched chef coat. Also, everyone is sad that your chef hat has been starched. We are all going to need at least one day to forgive you.” This should have been said to me. It’s the right thing to say. Tomorrow is a new day. Not only will I use light starch on my chef coat, but I will refrain from starching my chef hat. It’s going to be the best day ever.

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