III Forks

III Forks is out of control special occasion. It’s almost like you shouldn’t be there unless you have something to celebrate. Never has there been more of a special occasion explosion than in this building during dinner Friday night. If ever the word debacle fits perfectly it’s here. There was a debacle of birthdays at III Forks. Sparklers were spraying sparks all over the place. We decided to jump on this birthday party train as soon as our server asked why we were at III Forks. Everyone else in the building had a purpose, so why didn’t we?

While pondering in thought, our drinks were delivered. Even though our drinks had the same name, mine was a bit different. His glass was clean as a whistle, while mine had some kind of gnarly thick crusty film covering it from top to bottom. My husband did not feel like having any kind of dinner drama. Sending a dirty glass back to the bar will always result in unwanted drink drama. Is it my fault this glass is rank? Hello?

Our server couldn’t have been better. She was as knowledgeable as a server could possibly be. She went through the specials like a service industry champion, yet didn’t reveal the prices. Who can blame her? All of these special occasion people are celebrating someone’s birth. There’s no need to bother them with the price. This is the perfect up-selling opportunity. Cha-Ching!

I decided to ask how much the fish special from Hawaii was going to cost my brand new husband. For fifty two dollars, one can expect this fish to arrive with a four ounce lobster tail resting on top. No. Thank. You. If you are looking for me, you will not find me eating a fifty two dollar fish entree. The day I’m sitting around eating a fifty two dollar fish entree will be the same day I smoke a crack pipe in an alley somewhere.

I’m going to lose weeks of sleep over this shrimp cocktail. While dealing with the crusty-film-resting-on-my-drink drama, it was time to order apps before I was ready. Ordering fast seemed logical because my husband was hungry. This proved to be a costly mistake. People paying seventeen dollars for a shrimp cocktail are basically begging to be robbed. Four shrimp for seventeen dollars simply cannot be justified by anyone.

Are these shrimp going to arrive with eatable gold attached to their bottom dwelling body? No. Then why are they seventeen dollars? Wait! These four shrimp are actually sixteen dollars and ninety five cents. This amount is five cents less than seventeen dollars. Pardon. Just because a lot of people were born on a certain day and decide to come out in celebration of this day does not warrant being ripped off. Our server suggested half remoulade and half cocktail sauce.

The Chilean sea bass is out of this world. I know it truly is outstanding because I didn’t really care at the time. If you really don’t care how good something tastes and then it’s crazy good, well, this makes it outstanding. Scary circumstances preoccupied my brain. Our 71 year old table neighbor creepy hugging a 22 year old potential escort was at the top of things to worry about at the time. Then I had to worry about my husband’s frown wrinkle. Is it there yet? Did it arrive and leave while I was studying the inappropriate love fest going on next door? I simply didn’t have time to care about this Chilean sea bass. This fish was 38 dollars, so caring about it needed to happen soon.

He ordered the filet and lobster tail special. This special dish cost SEVENTY DOLLARS. What’s so special about a special? Most of the time you don’t know how much the special is going to cost. The price of a special is a secret unless you ask. Specials are special to servers because it’s more money in their apron. Most people don’t ask the price because after asking you instantly become cheap.

I always ask the price of specials because (1) I don’t care if people think I’m cheap and (2) specials aren’t taking extra special care of my guy’s wallet. He never asked the price and she never offered. He didn’t ask because he was obviously experiencing a celebration within himself that I wasn’t aware of. The ambiance, food, and service are wonderful at III Forks. These things aren’t going to change the wallet violation taking place at the end of the experience.

FIVE: High 5!

FOUR: Please & Thank You

THREE: Yada

TWO: Double Wow

ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch

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III Forks Steakhouse
17776 Dallas Parkway
Dallas, TX 75287
972.267.1776
iiiforks.com‎
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