Katz’s Express

Wow. Just wow. We have a winner for the scariest manager in the history of Almost Veggie. Out of all candidates for employment, Katz’s Express hired the top dog– a real doozy. This lady needs a vacation filled with Calgon baths and boat rides.

While occasionally encountering an annoying manager is quite common, it’s not every day a person is likely to run into this kind. The scary server-turned-manager kind lives life in hopes of one day being promoted to General Manager. Following rules at any cost, this kind of manager wouldn’t hesitate scheduling a server to work on their birthday.

Katz’s sits just to the side of I-45 in The Woodlands. News of their existence is way past average information. The subway sign decor is just the beginning. I love New York and the T-shirts in my closet prove it. This passion surpassed looking up at skyscrapers the second I placed an “I Heart NYC” bumper sticker on my car last year. That’s right.

I would have taken tons of pictures of this place even if I didn’t write about food. The decor truly is exciting. That’s why it’s more than just depressing to be approached by the ultimate Debbie Downer to ever possess a management position.

A simple quest for a tuna melt caused this manager’s nerves of steel to feel somewhat threatened. Her demeanor was like a lion protecting its young. Enter into evidence the trauma causing picture sending this manager spiraling into what almost seemed like a terrifically terrifying temper tantrum. This is when her catlike-stalk-walk around the restaurant began.

It doesn’t take a genius to realize tuna melt delivery isn’t happening due to never receiving a snazzy taxi cab number thing. As the tuna melt sat under a heat lamp getting scary, I walked over to fill in the food runner. She politely said she’d bring it over right away.

As I walked over to investigate the taxi cab number thing, this manager went in for the photo kill. Sweat beads formed on her forehead as her goal became clear: Put an end to all food photo taking dreams at any cost.

World’s Scariest Manager Picture Taking Conversation Reenactment:

The Manager: You are … (massive pause)… from out of town?

AV: No. Not really.

The Manager: So, I saw you take a picturrrrrrrre?

AV: Oh, yes– I even waited for you to finish bussing the corner table in hopes of an even prettier picture.

The Manager: Do you know those writers from The Woodlands Eats Blog? <—- (this question was growled)

(I could have sworn I got the warm fuzzies before answering)

AV: Yes! I finally got to meet them about a month ago.

The Manager: Well, they came in and tried to take pictures and, you know, we just don’t like that. It’s not allowed.

Really? Am I from out of town? So picture taking is okay for tourists, but not okay for food writers? This is a perfectly reasonable inference. I’m inferring this all over the place. People don’t infer with this much inference security. It’s a done deal. The inference has been made. It’s over.

Complimentary Pickles

Instead of talking about what other people “tried” to do, how about muster up another sentence stating some kind of picture taking policy. Saying you “don’t like it” is somehow entertaining. How about a sign? Something? Anything?

Moving right along…

This tuna melt is served on Challah bread with Muenster cheese and Russian dressing. All was excellent, minus the super soggy bread below. The top of the sandwich was fine, but the bottom was almost wet-soggy. To pass being just soggy and enter a status of wet-soggy is totally unattractive.

Usually steering clear of bread when possible, this wet-soggy problem could be solved by eating the tuna on top of the chips. It’s a means of survival. Eating can be comparable to camping. Anything can happen.

Katz’s Express needs to turn that foodie frown upside down. Those of us respectfully documenting the experience aren’t hurting anyone. Have confidence in the product, people. Plain & simple.

FIVE: High 5!

FOUR: Please & Thank You


TWO: Double Wow

ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch

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