Unwritten College Seating Assignment Rule

Today marks the beginning of the third week of classes at Le Cordon Bleu. For the record, I have been sitting in the same exact spot since day one. Because of this, the seat I’m referring to has become mine. This is an unwritten college seating assignment rule that no student should ever break. Who doesn’t know this rule? This is a high school seating rule that rolls over into college. Just because I already went to college for four years does not give me an automatic seat assignment head start. A person owns a seat after sitting there two weeks in a row. Taking this seat from me after all this time is an injustice at the highest level of seat stealing catastrophes.

This spot is important to me because it is on the back row, just to the left. If I can’t sit in the back, then I have to breathe in a bag for six seconds. It’s very uncomfortable to have someone sitting behind me. They might become bored and start staring at my ears. While not having ear insecurity, it’s just not a chance I’m willing to take. They might stare at my hair and start analyzing whether its color is natural or not. My hair is smooshed in a spin type of ponytail tucked inside my hat. How am I supposed to feel like Bridget Bardot with potential hair paranoia suddenly surrounding me? This is all way too much for a future Michelin star chef to deal with.

Everyone in my class is super nice. I’m not upset with anyone for breaking the unwritten college seating assignment rule today. Forgiveness is a part of my being. It’s like I’m a flower child or something. I’ve come to terms with the fact that not everyone is aware of the unwritten college seating assignment rule. On the up and up, for the next two years I’ve decided to leave my house forty-four minutes early to ensure back row seating is still available.