Reputation states this place is the perfect spot for brunch due to some kind of magical Bloody Mary bar. Look, our server was sweet— scary sweet. Her voice danced around with these different tones of sweet. Sometimes multiple sweet tones are hard to follow. The sweet tone pitch switch is dangerous to all ears involved.
She insisted we try this tasty dressing that all ranch lovers just have to have. No. Do not suggest or up sell! It’s too risky! Focus on keeping up with your other tables. We need you to not be in the weeds in order to prevent the in the near future shrimp po-boy cheese catastrophe.
When she delivered the scariest shrimp po-boy ever to exit a kitchen, the cheese was so hard we became speechless. We witnessed a total heat lamp massacre. This heat lamp massacre could have easily been prevented. Servers were standing around spanking each other with a mini towel. This action is what young people call.. the wet towel whip. Yes, servers sometimes do this in restaurants. You wet the end of a towel, twist it around and around, only to sling it back in a whip like motion. I’m positive this is a form of flirting for servers waiting tables while in college. Guilty.
If you have time to towel mini whip other servers in the side station, then you have time to run food. Heat lamps quickly mortify cheese. Cheese delivered rock hard is painful and sad. What’s worse? Watching our server disappear the second she delivered the scary charred cheese topped po-boy. She was gone.
I’m sorry. If a person can lift cheese into the air and it stands up— completely up— this is a crime against food. The bread was hard. The cheese was hard. The shrimp were innocent participants during this entire entree violation. Who serves this? Where is the chef? This is a po-boy fail. Even if the cheese was delivered with an ounce of dignity, this sandwich would still have been pitiful. Beneath was a greasy load of peppers cemented onto overcooked stale tasting bread. Disgusting. I felt sorry for the shrimp. Really. It was as sad as saying goodbye. No ingredient should be treated this way. Ingredient advocates across America unite.
I asked for something, anything to make this po-boy better. Waiting for lettuce and remoulade proved even more painful. Our server is hands down rookie at waiting tables. Consolidating what you have to do is great, unless a person is sitting with knarly food— waiting for 2 things to ease the pain. These two things must appear before anything can get better. This delivery is priority. Service Industry Rule #846: Do not take another table’s drink and food order, at the same time, when another table cannot eat until you return with vital supplies.
Could she have grabbed a drink order? Sure. Talking about the fabulous just like ranch dressing they just have to have while I’m staring at cheese charred from the fires of hell isn’t sealing any service deal. Staring at our app, salad, and entrees at the same time wasn’t the end of the world. It actually played 15th fiddle to waiting and waiting and waiting for her arrival.
There are a few things to keep in mind. It’s not our server’s fault this po-boy is Guinness Book barf worthy. Heat lamp blame goes to the kitchen or manager. Yell. Bark. Growl. Do something to your servers to make them run food. Servers spanking each other in the side stand is something a manager might notice. Ya think? Once noticing, this manager could say, “Please stop spanking each other and run food.” Also, the kitchen might hear heat lamp screams of po-boy pain and yell as well.
On the up and up, this place does have a Bloody Mary bar that seems to excite everyone. The server brings a glass of vodka over, leaving it up to the customer to make their Bloody Mary as sassy as they wish. Drink up! It’s going to take a major buzz to get through brunch at Ozona.
P.S. In the spirit of Halloween, there is a picture of even scarier cheese right—> here.
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch
Ozona Grill & Bar
4615 Greenville Avenue
Dallas, TX 75206