The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up Book Will Control Your Life

After buying The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, I’ve been locked in a slow motion tidying trance since January 2nd, 2016. This book is the bomb of all books. Lazy readers can listen to this book of Guinness Book worthiness if actual reading hurts their feelings. Writing about food has been on hold because tidying is controlling my life morning, noon, and night.

In the nicest way possible, internet people need to know that this author is totally bonkers in the best way. Trust the words, people. Once you have let her into your life, forget about it. The only thing to do is buy loads of gigantic trash bags and get to work.

Holy cow. She has lived her entire life trying to perfect the act of being tidy, starting when she was barely finished with kindergarten. She’s now a tidy person for hire who will quickly tell messy customers to get a grip and prepare to live life surrounded by only the things they love. The things which bring… joy.

I’ve bagged so many useless items I thought maybe being called a hoarder was in order. Clothes from 1997 were hanging in the closet like they mattered. She dares reader/listeners to begin doing anything other than clothes. Get every single piece of clothing and throw it on the floor, unless you have two Chihuahuas. Throwing clothes on the bed felt like the right thing to do.

She then started to sound a little wacko when she demanded a question be asked of the clothes. Picking each one up and holding it in my hand, I thought about joy. Does this stupid shirt from Express bring me joy? Gross. Do I really need to keep a Versace dress given as a gift by the world’s worst cheater ex-boyfriend with a double life? That was a tough one, but in the bag it went.

She even explained the real deal way to fold clothes. She promised I would love to fold clothes after learning the correct way. She was right! After four years of never completely having the laundry complete, it’s now finished every single day. There’s never laundry before going to sleep, which is nuts.

Oh, do not try to tidy other house-people’s belongings. She used to get rid of her mom, dad, and brother’s things in elementary school until they flipped out. She was freaking out that young. What is up with that?

Do not organize until clothes tidying is completely finished. Next, grab all the stupid books you are saving and give them to the closest library. It was really weird when the library guy fussed at me for pulling up to the front door to drop off books. “YOU COULD HAVE CALLED.” Oh, gee, sorry library guy. It’s not like I donate books— ever. Deciding to move on with life, leaving the library guy behind, seemed like the best decision to make.

After books collecting dust are no longer a part of your life, it’s on to papers. Not love letters or papers of complete paper glory– only basic paper. Don’t waste your life keeping paper! Recycle and take back your life. Junk drawer? Stop the nonsense. The author feels these things need to be done in order to “spark joy.”

1. Commit

2. Imagine your ideal lifestyle

3. Finish discarding first

4. Tidy by category instead of location

5. Follow the right order– clothes, books, papers, komono, sentimental things, photos

6. Ask yourself if something sparks joy

The author does NOT believe in storage. No. Storing is your mind tricking you into accepting clutter. Don’t let clutter ruin your joy. She feels clutter hurts the feelings of your possessions since storage puts them away–like they don’t matter. If you can’t see your belongings, then you are being rude, even though your belongings aren’t alive. Marie Kondo talks to her things when she comes home each day. “Hello, coat closet. Hopefully you are filled with happiness. Thank you, socks. You did a great job today.” Maybe this author has completely lost her marbles. Who knows? Even though it’s the first day of March and I’m still on paper, things around this house are on the way to being tidy.