It was really weird dropping by the Corner Bar for a fried egg sandwich and some jukebox karaoke last night. At first, everything seemed normal while eating a sandwich with two fried eggs over hard with lots of mayo, lettuce, and tomato.
Fries dipped in ranch while listening to Run DMC was sealing the late night deal until things suddenly sent my mind spiraling into a full-blown restroom investigation.
Upon entering the girls restroom, I walked into the very last stall to see none other than a mini bag floating in the toilet. This mini bag had white powder inside. Gasp.
Could it be cocaine? A real live cocaine user was in our presence? For one entire year of cancer I was on the couch watching every single crime show possible, as well as The Bold & the Beautiful, of course.
These crime shows discussed cocaine in detail, as well as showing little bags, exactly like this one, used to hold cocaine. I’m practically an expert detective from watching television too much. The only thing left to do was investigate every female inside the Corner Bar. First, I had to ask Google exactly what to look for.
Google’s Answer to Effectively Spot a Cocaine User:
1. Look for white powder on the person’s nose and belongings.
2. Notice if the person sniffs frequently or has a runny nose.
3. Check for bloodshot eyes or dilated pupils.
4. See if the person seems unnaturally hyperactive.
5. Notice if the person keeps leaving the room.
After Google answered this very serious cocaine question, I began looking for a girl with some, if not all, signs listed. I seemed like the most hyper person in the room while listening to Eminem, which threw off the investigation because that wasn’t my scary mini bag floating in the toilet of the last stall. Looking for sniffers seemed like the right thing to do. Sniff here and there and you just might be guilty as charged. As for #5, the mysterious female had already left the room, hence restroom toilet evidence. The room was dark, so it was challenging to spot white powder on the nose of any female customer.
This investigation was going to be a cold case for sure. It was obvious we needed Scooby and the gang on the scene because I’m apparently not an adequate drug detective as previously pondered. My husband was totally against this restroom investigation from the beginning because he’s afraid of drug people and drama makes his day cloudy with no chance of sunshine. All he wanted was to listen to jukebox music and calmly eat his burger.
The fried egg sandwich was worth seeing what appeared to be shady drugs in the toilet. Maybe there was sugar in the bag. It’s possible. It’s like carrying a mini bottle of Tabasco around in your purse. We didn’t have a team of testers there, so. In the end, it’s not the Corner Bar’s fault this happened. They have a fried egg sandwich that works, as well as massive drink pours proving there’s more to Corner Bar than a shady restroom.
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
TWO: Double Wow