The menu posted outside Mountain Standard listed shrimp & grits and deviled eggs. This was the best sight to see as we walked through Vail Village looking for fun. There were many hurdles to hurdle before sealing the dining deal at Mountain Standard yesterday.
Besides no one else wanting to have lunch at Mountain Standard, the hostess told us the kitchen was closing in exactly ten minutes. She promised to seat us on the patio only if we promised back that we would be ready to order before ten minutes ended. We agreed to these terms because I already knew what I wanted. I could have ordered at the front door. This is a no-brainer order— deviled eggs and shrimp & grits. Raise the roof!
Our waiter came over fast. This is when things got scary. I needed to know the pancetta on the shrimp & grits could be left out. Confirming this needed to happen or the ordering deal would not be sealed. He said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah– of course.” There was one more question. And by the way, I know this is super annoying behavior when a kitchen is closing in ten minutes. It’s actually against kitchen restaurant law. I should be and am fully ashamed of myself.
The second question was about the bone marrow being an ingredient in the precious deviled eggs I could almost already taste. This marrow had to be excluded from all deviled egg delivery or life would somehow be altered forever. It couldn’t happen. No one around here can eat the marrow of a bone mixed within the winning part of any deviled egg order. Ugh.
He quickly returned saying— no, no, no— to everything. It was a depressing time at our table. Time is what we did not have. Being heartbroken was the least of all worrries because only two minutes remained before the chef choked us all without regret. Settling on salmon hurt— a lot. Even though salmon usually makes people feel all healthy and happy, I’ve only really liked salmon probably 14 times in my entire life.
My family ordered the deviled eggs anyway because everyone at the table wanted to eat them in front of me like they were comedians headlining at a comedy club with Amy Schumer. This is when it hit me. Things were so obvious, yet I was oblivious to all things obvious at Mountain Standard.
Enter into evidence the whole pig painted on the sign out front. This pig represents Mountain Standard. If a restaurant has a pig on the restaurant sign, chances are pork and all kinds of every pig part are included in the menu process. Duh. Talk about needing to get a clue. The kitchen was probably hoping someone would throw us over the patio rail.
After having a quick lunch filled with salmon, burgers, and other stuff, our waiter gave us the bill charging us twice for deviled eggs and twice for the wedge salad as well. We probably deserved this double charge after asking pork questions ten minutes before the end of lunch service. He didn’t seem the least bit shady, so we believe it was all an accidental overcharge. Goodbye Mountain Standard. It’s been swell.
193 Gore Creek Drive
Vail, CO 81657