Questions about the never-ending long line pouring out the door of The Boiling Crab building have been around for quite some time. Why does this happen every single day and why are so many people willing to wait two hours to be given the gift of a table? People *freak out* about The Boiling Crab. There have been many times we have pulled into the jam-packed parking lot only to quickly decide things looked way too cray cray to conquer this place.
Customers going bonkers about eating seafood from The Boiling Crab are all lined up about an hour or more before the doors open–> on a daily basis. Besides the horde of hungry humans outside, loads of people stuff themselves into the tiny doorway leading to the host stand that is protected by a real, live police officer. What is up with that?
Before these people make it past the tiniest of all tiny entrance areas, they must look at a bunch of rules plastered all over the place. The Boiling Crab has more rules than the library at Le Cordon Bleu. Rules here. Rules there. Rules everywhere. The Boiling Crab has written expectations for all to see, so no one can pretend they are confused about the rules when The Boiling Crab police officer escorts you out forever. And don’t even think about using American Express either.
Our friend suggested we visit because he had a crawfish craving and we knew we’d better listen to his crawfish suggestion. If a crawfish connoisseur actually feels a specific place is all that, then who are we to say no way? He was willing to wait in the longest line in Texas, without having a seat on the spacious outside bench, in order to eat crawfish from The Boiling Crab. This added to all Boiling Crab confusion consuming my brain. I needed to figure out why so many people must eat here because nothing about must made sense.
Finally having a table to call our own felt weird. I walked around expecting to see crab legs lined in gold. Someone rushing over to hug me while tossing grapes into my mouth. Maybe a little something more than simply being seated after having endured such seating sadness for so long. I ordered right away because there was some kind of desperate food feeling flowing through each vein all because of the scary long line at The Boiling Crab.
Our server delivered food in bags and everything about our table told us to take messy eating to the next level. We dumped food from the bags all over our table and ate like starving champions. The police officer monitoring the host stand area did not arrest us because we followed each rule expected to be followed during our time at The Boiling Crab and did not attempt to pay with American Express.
After eating at The Boiling Crab, without a doubt, I can say there is a zero percent chance I’d ever wait that long for their food again. No one around here is saying this restaurant is bad, but it is severely overrated. Seafood is my life, people. There must be an inner secret to this place being like a scene from Field of Dreams, but it is time to move on.
The amount of people willing to wait in the long line will always be a mystery because the food is not crazy great or different or phenomenal or the bomb. The good news is The Boiling Crab obviously makes many customers extremely happy since they keep coming back for more. Carry on happy customers. By the time your table arrives, you’ve definitely earned it.
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch
The Boiling Crab
10560 Walnut St #100
Dallas, TX 75243