Drama began with a single gift card & a splurging urge to enjoy Mexican for lunch. Flies everywhere add to the ambiance in an oh-so scary way. Oddly enough, pests & such are the least of Guadalajara Hacienda’s reason to scurry with worry.
While sitting at the bar, flies began their terrific taunt. Pre-dining at Guadalajara requires a serious fly-swatting-hand-work-out… as this particular hand is in for plenty of full time fanning.
This party was apparently just getting started as the scariest of all scary smokers sat down, quickly sucking in sticky lung tar from a cancer causing death stick. Moving was the only option, as one must pass on the added flavor of cigarette smoke while dining.
P.S. Yes, there is an option to forego the bar & sit in an area labeled… non smoking. Pass.
Moving right along…
The Baja cocktail is offered on the happy hour menu. Several tapas plates are listed ranging from $4 – $7. Let us take a moment to speak of things you may order if you don’t receive malaria while awaiting the dish in which you wish. Um, there is the always exciting tex-mex empanadas, chicken & spinach quesadillas, and cantina nachos, to name a few.
The fish & shrimp tacos were delicious. Scooting on outside, in order to get a sunshine & rainbow kinda shot, seemed to be a fabulous idea. Flies were actually less bothersome outside than in.
Salad #1:
Besides containing carcass on one shrimp, this salad was missing almost every ingredient that made it desirable.
The Cabo Salad is supposed to arrive with bacon wrapped shrimp & jumbo scallops on a bed of field greens, with roasted pecans, red onions, roasted red bell peppers, and Cotija cheese.
The manager slash bartender said it wouldn’t be a problem to order shrimp without… bacon. On the left, notice the bacon has apparently been pulled off after having been cooked. On the right, a shrimp… still wrapped in bacon, that the kitchen forgot to pull off. Pull off? Growl.
Oh look… a close up of the pig product in our presence.
Eww. Take a closer look at the carcass hanging off another mangled shrimp. Secretly pulling the bacon off after it has been cooked isn’t going to fly with non pig eaters.
Rocket Science News Alert:
We can still taste it.
Salad #2:
Um, this salad arrived missing the SAME ingredients as… Salad #1, though it did possess new shrimp.
Any cook that would send out an item missing almost every ingredient… TWICE, as well as send shrimp out that have been cooked with bacon wrapped around, only to be pulled off upon realizing the mistake, is a lazy mess. To wear a chef coat is to step into the shoes of a leader. Passion people… Come on!
Manager Question of the Day:
“Would you like your check now, with the salad taken off?”
Um, the answer to this question is… NO. If necessary, an entire can of Off bug spray will be used before leaving this building without seeing THIS salad exactly the way it is listed on the menu.
Salad #3:
Wow. As trumpets in the heavens played, choirs of angels rejoiced as this salad arrived with… all ingredients.
Seventeen and one-half thank yous.
On a mini check back, the manager continued to assure me the salad would be taken off the bill. Should I do a triple curtsy slash back handspring into a split, followed by a cheer I learned in 6th grade? Instead, how about provide patrons with a mosquito net upon entering the front door, along with a… warning.
If choosing to stick it out for dessert, Guadalajara offers cream cheese flan, as well as Mexican fried ice cream and mini sopapillas. Also on the dessert menu are banana cream cheese flautas and boca negra chocolate cake.
The tres leches is grand & surprisingly enjoyable, even after having experienced semi mental anguish for an hour. On a positive note, there are other locations in which AVH has never experienced. A friend even commented on how his father so enjoys Guadalajara. Alrighty then with a side of so excited. Yada.
After visiting the location in the Woodlands, forget it. Enjoying a meal while fighting off flies is a pipe dream. No way. From bugs to blunders, AVH is over & out.
Wow + Ouch = Wouch!
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
THREE: Yada
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch
Such a great review…very honest. Will you try out the other locations?
Thanks. 🙂 I look forward to trying out the other locations, but The Woodlands location is just pitiful. I asked the manager, as I was leaving, if the chef cared. He said the head chef wasn’t there. Alrighty then. I’m thinking the head chef needs to know someone in his crew definitely needs a vacation.