Pax Americana is not messing around with anyone. What they do with cauliflower is insanity at its best. It’s like a mad scientist is in the kitchen acting scientifically mad about this particular cauliflower creation.
The bartender was way too calm when she suggested ordering the cauliflower appetizer. She should have panted with uncontrollable palate-pleasure, completely unable to breathe merely speaking words forming sentences that ultimately described this kind of cauliflower masterpiece.
The best way to express the greatness of this dish is to say I’d request it as my last meal if I broke a massive law in Texas and was offered a last meal. Holy freaking moly, chef. What is up in your kitchen?
Even better, I sat at the bar beside none other than an Uchi employee. Uchi employees are cool without trying. They have extra chill here, chill there, simply chill perfection all over the place. You will never catch Uchi servers causing trouble on purpose. It simply doesn’t happen.
So, just when it seemed like a regular day, a guy bartender walked over and said, “Is your name Ashli and did a guy you dated a few years ago almost die, so you had to call 911 to save his life five minutes after finding out he cheated on you?”
This really happened. I knew I vented a bit here and there after my diabetic-cheater-ex-boyfriend-with-a-double-life almost died of some kind of blood sugar attack. Yes, I was going to give him the special shot and some chocolate, but decided he might die and called 911 instead.
This guy was the biggest cheater in the history of world-champion cheaters, minus the next cheater I dated before finally marrying a non-cheater four years ago. I snooped his phone because I had a feeling he was a no good dirty rotten scoundrel. He decided to have a diabetic attack at the very same time his double life was revealed. What are the odds?
So, the bartender and I have a lifelong bond since he was there to listen to this sadly pitiful sob story years ago when this all took place. This bartender is a true listener. Raise the roof to bartenders who listen and even remember traumatic events shared by restaurant customers.
After eating the cauliflower app, it seemed like asking for the check was the right thing to do. Leave while you’re ahead is what works out for everyone. The girl bartender decided to share her opinion of an entree.
I believed every word she said, which meant sticking around for a 100% total Rock shrimp win. The Houston food scene just keeps getting better. Pax Americana will leave you mesmerized by its existence. This place is a true Houston gem oozing perfection. Please & thanks!
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch
4319 Montrose Boulevard
Houston, Texas 77006
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