Village Kitchen is a big deal. Not only do they have a Fruity Pebbles milkshake, which is now the most exciting milkshake known to mankind, but they also have much more. Anyone not liking Village Kitchen is obviously a very angry, non-smart human needing countless hours of food therapy. A building having this many delicious menu items should cause everyone to uncontrollably stand and perform a roaring round of applause.
There’s no way to not be excited about a Fruity Pebbles milkshake. My entire life has been one big bowl of Fruity Pebbles cereal with bananas sliced up and scattered all over the place. Who is smart enough to think of a Fruity Pebbles milkshake served in a chilly jar? The Fruity Pebbles milkshake at Village Kitchen is laughing out loud at every other milkshake in Dallas. So simple, yet so hard to comprehend how brilliant the Fruity Pebbles milkshake really is. Even though almost everyone has a blender, we have all been living life without this kind of cereal-milkshake pleasure.
The sprinkle of non-blended Fruity Pebbles on top set off an entirely different explosion of happiness as childhood memories consumed each part of my brain. It’s like a childhood flashback without drugs. Who doesn’t like this? If a banana could talk it would say, “Please place me inside the chilly jar holding the Fruity Pebbles milkshake at Village Kitchen.” If bananas had been placed on top I probably would have been asked to leave.
People don’t realize this kind of milkshake joy isn’t common. If I knew about the Fruity Pebbles milkshake at Village Kitchen I wouldn’t have gone on vacation last week. I thought the lobster roll was the only thing I missed. Little did I know there’s something else at Village Kitchen that makes spasticness happen. I’ll start from the beginning.
Sometimes Highland Park Village scares me. I am never around really rich people on purpose. It’s just not something I do. Since I love executive chef Andre Natera so much it hurts, I knew Village Kitchen would be the bomb. I took a closer look at the menu from my home computer and suddenly noticed he’s also serving deviled eggs, which is one of my favorite things in the entire world— besides my husband, children, and Chihuahuas.
After arriving at 10:50am, I decided to practice rapping inside my car while waiting for Village Kitchen to open for lunch. Eminem’s song Without Me has almost been memorized for a random karaoke moment in the near future. At exactly 11:00am, I entered the building. I was thinking that maybe rich people eating were frightened because I was wearing jeans and a black tank top. This tank top might be considered classy if the rich Highland Park people knew it was from Ann Taylor, which takes the T out of Tank Top.
I could tell the woman sitting beside me probably lives two inches away from wherever the richest part of Highland Park is. I quickly noticed that even though this woman is Highland Park rich, she still wants to small talk with the closest commoner wearing a tank top. She said, “I can’t believe the name of this new restaurant has kitchen in it. Can you believe this? It seems like such a peculiar name for a restaurant.” Maybe rich people don’t like the word kitchen because a kitchen is where peasants are required to fetch food for them. Because of this, maybe kitchens make rich people uncomfortable. I’ve never been to a rich Highland Park person’s kitchen, so I’m not an expert in this area.
I saw chef Natera in his open kitchen, which excited me. People need to know this chef is a class act. He is not an ego maniac. Really. I actually think he’s the smartest person in the country for inventing this Fruity Pebbles milkshake. Don’t stop reading now because it’s hard to believe what else this chef has invented.
Chef Natera came over to say hi and started recommending different non-carcass menu items. It was really weird when he started talking about the gnocchi, describing it as tasting exactly like a loaded baked potato even though it is not a loaded baked potato. No one can make this happen. Even though I kept thinking this is just a bunch of gnocchi nonsense, chef Natera proved me wrong. Imagine eating gnocchi with a fully loaded baked potato presence, minus the big baked potato. Please know the loaded baked potato gnocchi is incredible! Crazy– crazy– crazy great. One of the top ten things to be eaten– ever. A gnocchi knock out. This chef is winning all over the place.
The menu is—> here.
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch
33 Highland Park Village
Dallas, TX 75205
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