Even though I think Washington Avenue is the scariest area in Houston, we decided to take our chances and have dinner at Blue Fish. No one around here is trying to act like a sushi expert. Just so you know, I could act like a sushi expert if I wanted to. This behavior is possible because I married none other than a half-Asian half-Scottish guy. That’s right.
If you’ve ever seen an Asian guy wearing a kilt somewhere up in the club, um, that’s him. I don’t understand why kilt people can’t wear underwear. Tradition or not, it seems like people in Scotland have something against this kind of garment. All kilt people want to talk about is how they aren’t wearing any undies. This makes underwear wearers nervous. They always have to make some kind of kilt-flying-up joke. This conversation is stressful to most bystanders.
My husband was worried when he realized his sister and her husband would be joining us for dinner that evening. The first thing he said was, “We are going to dinner with my sister and her husband.” The second thing he said was, “Please do not order a California roll in front of my family. I’ll be embarrassed for you.” Ordering a California roll was the least of his worries. I decided to lay it all on the line and use the chop stick helper. The chop stick helper makes life easy for rookie sushi roll eaters everywhere. I kind of felt sorry for him. Imagine being a half-Asian guy married to a girl that doesn’t know how to use chop sticks. This is a catastrophe to half-Asian half-Scottish guys everywhere. Throw in a California roll order and it’s over.
I realized my ivory turtle neck was see through as soon as we sat down. I’m a little disappointed in Ann Taylor. She tries to act all classy with outlet stores all over the place. I’m sorry, Ann Taylor. My sister-in-law and her husband do not have time to see through my turtle neck during dinner. This is gross. Most people don’t grab and go with clothes. They at least try them on in the store. I thought I could just trust Ann Taylor to not sell a see through ivory turtle neck to me. It’s just not right. I would get a refund if I could find the receipt.
I had to wear my big, thick winter coat the whole time we were at Blue Fish. All of these Washington Avenue people were wearing cool outfits that cool Washington Avenue people have to wear. They don’t feel like looking at someone wearing a winter coat. Honestly, Washington Avenue people need to calm down. They act like every business on this avenue is a club. Relax. Chill pill. Please and thanks. It doesn’t have to be one big college frat house party all the time. This is wearing regular people out.
Moving right along…
Wow. Just wow. The lobster roll at Blue Fish makes my heart beat faster. Being fried doesn’t take anything away from its glory. The tail is empty. This is a tail show, which is the showing off of a tail. It’s all glossy with butter from a butter brush. Even if Blue Fish hadn’t reduced itself to empty lobster tail presentation, this roll would still survive on its own. It’s fried perfectly. No one needs to be afraid of feeling any kind of painful fried food feelings of fat. It’s not going to happen. There is a bit of bad news though. This lobster roll is massively expensive. Poor people will not be able to eat this. If my husband didn’t pay for this lobster roll, then I would not have eaten it. Plain & simple.
We stuffed our faces for about an hour. The manager kept coming around making sure things were great. The last time around he had socks in his hand. I’m pretty sure it’s not normal to receive socks at the end of a meal. This has never happened before. I would recommend restaurants order logo socks fast. I never knew how happy the gift of socks after dinner could be. All four of us were giddy with free logo sock happiness. We even traded. We had two pairs of white socks and they had black, so we switched. Our table was filled with logo sock cheer. It was really weird.
I’m beginning to think these socks made me like Blue Fish a little more than I should. While Blue Fish is not Uchi, cough, the service and lobster roll will leave you wanting more.
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch
The Blue Fish on Washington
5820 Washington Avenue
Houston, TX 77007
IMPORTANT DISCLOSURE: We received a total of four pairs of free logo socks. We didn’t beg the manager for these free logo socks. These free logo socks did not force me to like the mega lobster roll at Blue Fish. If I didn’t like the free logo socks, then I would have said I didn’t like the free logo socks. My opinion is mine and you can’t have it. END OF THIS IMPORTANT BLOGGER DISCLOSURE INFORMING EVERYONE WE RECEIVED FREE LOGO SOCKS FROM THE MANAGER AT BLUE FISH.
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