After hearing nonstop Bowery fluff, lunch finally happened. Deciding whether Bowery was table or counter service was necessary because there were only two people working. Holy freaking moly— Talk about painful. There’s nothing worse than taking two perfectly talented servers and throwing them into the weeds. Yes, it was Monday, but there has to be a busy back up plan.
It took 15 minutes for these two helpless service industry workers to notice three tables had walked out and I still hadn’t been given a drink or menu. After a common sense evaluation, it was obviously not their fault. Where’s the manager? Who is on-call? Why isn’t the manager on the floor helping?
I’d waited so long on the patio that I didn’t realize something totally inappropriate was going on. I had unknowingly become locked in a table neighbor butt crack stare. His pants had helplessly slipped below boxer security level, thus forcing his bum to become one with the entire patio. This butt crack scene was like a rubber necking wreck on I-45. No one is safe from an uncontrollable butt crack stare while waiting and waiting and waiting.
At this point, it was time to walk back inside and do the stroll around. When performed correctly, the stroll around doesn’t have to make anyone uncomfortable. It’s like saying— hey, gee, it’s so interesting around here I decided to check things out again. What’s really happening is the— remember-me-reminder. It’s even okay to look up at the ceiling, like, you know— the ceiling is so pretty. All of this equals— pretty please acknowledge my existence.
It was almost funny sitting on the patio listening to the hubbub of hotdog anticipation in the voice of every new arrival. They had no idea getting that dog was going to hurt. One server tried to please those waiting by performing a constant server smile.
Let’s talk about the… constant server smiler. Look, it might not be your fault there are only two people working and you are in the weeds, but do not perform a constant big smile. Regular smilers can be pleasing. A bit less than average smilers aren’t hurting anyone’s feelings. It’s the BIG constant smiler with the semi big eye look that makes people crazy. Stop. Don’t get the wrong idea. I felt sorry for this girl— just not constant smiler sorry.
Moving right along…
It’s always fun to visit a restaurant that appears to have nothing suitable for almost veggie people. It becomes even more important to get there and prove this isn’t true. There aren’t any hotdogs for the non pork product people, but there are several other things to order.
Minus the less than attractive chaos of condiments placed on the table, Bowery has lots of positives. People that were actually eating hotdogs were definitely experiencing hotdog pleasure. After considering the circumstances, it’s not fair to judge these two servers. Management needs to work out the kinks. The servers did the best they could in the position they’d been placed.
FIVE: High 5!
FOUR: Please & Thank You
TWO: Double Wow
ONE: Wow + Ouch = Wouch